Windows security and scam haikus

I forgot about these until the other day, but I think they’re very funny. First, there are the 419 haikus from The Register a few years ago:

Urgent Proposal
Involving deceased people
Farewell to savings.

Autumn’s email flood,
Small advance ensures windfall.
Outside, swine fly south.

I gave all my money
and waited …
doh! 419 times

Then there are these Windows haikus. I’m afraid I forget where they came from – I copied them to a notebook ages ago with tracking the source.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Website you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
“My Novel” not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao until
You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which just occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Having been erased,
The document you’re seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

Technorati Tags: 419, haiku, spam, virus, crash, Windows, The Register

Related posts:

1. Playing with Linux, Virtualisation, Bluetooth and Windows Mobile
2. Tools for writing: Windows Vista and Office 2007
3. I want Scrivener (for Windows)
4. It’s too darn hot – open source and WGA
5. How to keep data on laptops safe