I was eating a bowl of ‘luxury’ muesli this morning contemplating the irony of calling muesli luxurious, considering it’s purpose and function. It’s another example of inflationary language.
Now Wired reports the ultimate in misplaced grandiloquence: the Kohler Numi toilet.
According to the manufacturer’s website, this $6,390 convenience “combines unmatched design, technology and engineering to bring you the finest in personal comfort and cleansing. From its striking form and features to its unrivaled [sic] water efficiency, the Numi toilet marks a new standard of excellence in the bathroom.”
I particularly liked ‘personal comfort and cleansing’. It’s not only grandiose, it’s also coy.
I also enjoyed the pictures of sophisticated, glamorous people on the site as decoration. Obviously, they’re not actually using the product. In fact, they look like they never crapped in their life but if they did, it would smell of designer perfume.
Come on, Kohler, where’s the irony? Where’s the humour? Or does everything have to be ‘stylish’, ‘designer’, ‘luxury’ and ‘exclusive.’ What’s next? Nappies by Versace?