Comments on: The Devil’s marketing dictionary, Part One

By: Bad Language / How NOT to lead geeks

Bad Language / How NOT to lead geeks — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 10:16:55 +0000

[...] management-speak (see my old posts The Devil’s Marketing Dictionary Part One, Part Two and Part [...]

By: » Designers Working With Writers: Introducting Our Writers BoDo: Business of Design online » Blog Archive

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 14:53:42 +0000

[...] a well known, I’ll point you to my past and recent favs – The Devil’s marketing dictionary: Part One, Part Two, Part Three. And my top of all times, A guide to working with [...]

By: Scott McArthur

Scott McArthur — Sat, 14 Apr 2007 00:12:58 +0000

You have to watch this video folks – it sums up a load of the issues and dangers we all have with using and understanding this language:

http://mcarthursrant.blogspot.com/2007/04/house-of-lies-evil-management.html

By: 10,000 Marshmallows Daily Links 2007-04-06 - 10,000 Marshmallows - Marketing Accountability: How to eat 10,000 Marshmallows

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 13:13:41 +0000

[...] Bad Language: The Devil’s marketing dictionary, Part One “Return on investment. An imaginary number that is equal to or greater than the cost of purchasing a solution.” [...]

By: Steven Phenix

Steven Phenix — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 12:06:08 +0000

Matthew, very funny. And accurate. I put together a comic strip about marketing gurus who live on the latest buzz words that might give you a giggle. Check out http://www.10kmarshmallows.com/comics/comic_viewer.php.

-Steven

By: Garry

Garry — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 00:12:56 +0000

Key Performance Indicators – targets that can only be achieved in an ideal world where everything works perfectly, customers pay on time (and never complain), and everyone knows what they’re doing.

Focus group – the collective name for a a meeting of managers in the local Starbucks.

By: Heather Yaxley

Heather Yaxley — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 16:23:05 +0000

On Bruce’s theme – I really love “your call is important to us” when my brain has gone numb whilst holding. I think it means “but not enough to employ sufficient call handlers and anyway you might just go away and leave us alone, especially if you really want something.”

Then there’s consultation, stakeholder engagement, dialogue and numerous variations on the pretending to have discussions but getting them to do what we want. Especially in the case of employees “who are our most important asset”.

By: Starked SF, Unforgiving News from the Bay » Blog Archive » Linker Barn: Thursday, April 5

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 15:32:03 +0000

[...] BadLanguage’s Devil’s Marketing Dictionary. Bierce would surely [...]

By: Bruce Pilgrim

Bruce Pilgrim — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 12:49:42 +0000

“Suitable for framing!”

Translation: “You have to get your own frame.”

“Some assembly required.”

Translation: “You’ll need a degree in mechanical engineering to put it together.’

“Quantities are limited, so act now!”

Translation: “We’ve only got a couple of million still in stock.”

“Operators are standing by.”

Translation: “No one has called so far.”

“Unforgettable!”

Translation: “Um, what was the question?”

“And more.”

Translation: “That’s all.”

“3 out of 4 doctors agree”

Translation: We surveyed four doctors.

“Not available in stores”

Translation: “They didn’t want it.”

“Your mileage my vary”

Translation: “We just made up these figures because they sounded good.”

“No purchase necessary.”

Translation: “Although we wouldn’t mind.”

“All other trademarks or registered trademarks belong to their respective holders.”

Translation: “We don’t have the time or the energy to keep track of all that crap.”

“All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.”

Translation: “I am getting my revenge on everyone who ever crossed me.”

“No animals were harmed in the making of this motion picture.”

Translation: “Unless you count the ones we ate, and the ones that were made into boots and clothing.”

“Our people are our most important assets.”

Translation: “But, we’ll lay them off so fast it will make your head spin.”

“Professional driver. Closed course.”

Translation: “You wish.”

“Don’t try this at home.”

Translation: “Go ahead. You know you want to.”

“This site contains material which is adult in nature and intended strictly for mature adults. All sex stories on this website are fictional sexual fantasies and are published here for adult entertainment and artistic expression only! If you are not of legal age to view adult material in your area or you find pornography or any other type of…”

Translation: “Don’t judge me.”

By: David Bradley

David Bradley — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 07:47:14 +0000

A blog is a whole lot more than that though isn’t it? It’s not just a site written by people with nothing to say for people with nothing to do…it’s also for people who don’t know it exists not to subscribe to its newsfeed and not read that either…as well..?