I have to be clear about this. Jeremy Clarkson is a communications guru. He has a knack of making complicated things seem simple. My wife, who has no interest in cars, loves to watch Top Gear because he turns the subject into entertainment.

My favourite Clarkson quote: “this Aston Martin may look like Lord Greystoke but under the bonnet it’s all Tarzan.”

Then there’s the comment (I think I saw a similar sentiment in a P. J. O’Rourke piece) that his idea of a great evening’s entertainment would be a six pack of beer, a deck chair and the spectacle of the entire French air force crashing into an oil refinery.

But he’s just plain wrong about general aviation. His Sunday Times column ‘Biggles, you’re a crashing bore‘ misses the point completely.

So, the recipe for flying then. You drive to an airfield, check your plane for two hours, take off, sit still, speak gibberish into a radio, land, eat cheese and then sit still again till you?re home again. Repeat until one day you hear a loud bang . . .

The thing I want Jeremy to understand is that we don’t eat cheese. My friends and I are on a mission to eat in every Michelin-starred restaurant in Europe that’s within a taxi ride of an airport. Here’s a partial list: Guy Savoy, The Fat Duck, Le Clos St. Denis, Maisons de Bricour, Gidleigh Park etc. There are some reviews on my other blog: ModernPilot.com. It’s a rotten job but someone has to do it (like being a Top Gear presenter, I suppose).

The training, checklists, pre-flight preparation etc. that he complains about are all part of being safe. Most accidents are caused by careless pilots not faulty engines. But I admit that I take some pride in doing it well.

Oh, and the plane I fly does over 200mph with never a speed camera in sight. I can get to Cannes in a little over three hours without having to spend days in a queue at the airport. I can carry as much toothpaste as I want. The plane was built a couple of years ago out of carbon fibre, has an airframe parachute for emergencies and more computers than the Space Shuttle. And Angelina Jolie flies one.

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