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If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys

by Matthew Stibbe on January 23, 2008

Monkey with a typewriter If you were an experienced professional – say a lawyer or an accountant – and you received an email like the one below, you would probably find it somewhat insulting.

"Just draft a free contract and if we like it we might get you to sue someone." 

"Just do us a free audit and if it’s okay, we might ask for some tax advice."

What is it about the word "writer" that makes people think we’ll jump through hoops like performing seals to get our hands on a £50 gadget in order to get a gig that pays a fraction of our standard rate?

Company X emailed me out of the blue yesterday.  I sent them a carefully-worded pitch, sample prices and links to more information. This is the reply I just received:

We would like to thank you for your CV and portfolio.

After reviewing your CV/portfolio with our CEO we would like to propose the following, as we wish to work alongside an individual who we feel will be able to respond quickly and efficiently to our requests.

A sample of our product will be available for you to review and analyse.  We would then like you to provide us with a tantalising press release.  After each review these products would be yours to keep, the cost of each unit varies from £50.00 too £300.00.

In the first instance we would like to send you a [product name removed] for such a review.   After careful consideration of this review we will then make the decision as to whether we would wish to approach you with further work, which would also include proof reading of Deco Boxes, Specification Sheets and all other necessary marketing material.

We would need to work on a purchase order and invoice basis, each press release costing approximately £100.

We look forward to hearing your comments in regards to the above proposal.

In my experience, it takes a while to get to know a company and its products. This is a necessary first step to writing well for them. It also takes a day or two to write a good press release, get it approved and proofread. 

So, paying £100 per press release means, essentially, asking me to work for minimum wage. If I wanted to do that, I’d work for McDonald’s. At least I’d get a uniform and a free lunch.

I wrote a polite email saying that if they pay peanuts, they should expect monkeys. In my heart, I wanted to suggest that they do something painful and anatomically challenging to themselves. Writers are not monkeys.

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Related posts:

  1. A hundred monkeys, but good names
  2. We’re not your monkeys
  3. Write press release headlines that make sense
  4. More annoying PR tricks
  5. How to budget for, plan and measure writing output

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Tom Chandler January 23, 2008 at 11:42 pm

I’m getting more and more of those “offers” each month. There are far more bottom feeders (clients and writers) than ever before, and I’m guessing the former “low end” of the market.

It’s gotten so I don’t do *any* significant estimate/proposal work until I’ve qualified the prospect. I was simply wasting too much time on $50/article scams.

Reply

Sarah Dillon January 24, 2008 at 12:08 am

This post made me grimace because I could feel your frustrations across the blogosphere :) I face this ALL the time as a translator (in fact I wrote a post on it with almost this exact same title here http://nakedtranslator.blogspot.com/2007/03/what-are-you-worth-dont-be-monkey.html). If it’s any consolation, we’re even lower on the food chain than writers. After all, the writer has done all the work already and I’m just typing in another language, right?! LOL!

I reckon put a price on your time and stick to it. It can be really hard sometimes, but like you say, if you want to work for minimum wage, then at least go somewhere you’ll get your lunch paid…

Reply

ourman January 24, 2008 at 8:53 am

“If you were an experienced professional – say a lawyer or an accountant – and you received an email like the one below, you would probably find it somewhat insulting. ”

Maybe so but your average lawyer is infinitely more qualified than a writer. It costs nothing to set yourself up as a writer and you have no documentation to prove your skill. That might be why people choose to test it.

And let’s face it, these businesses wouldn’t get away with it unless it was common practice for people to accept these terms. Probably because the world is full of aspiring writers.

As for:

“It also takes a day or two to write a good press release, get it approved and proofread. ”

Absolute rubbish. That’s just what PR companies say in order to jack up their prices. It takes 30 minutes to write a press release – the rest is strictly admin. With a fair wind, and providing you make a decent stab at the first release, it can be done in less than two hours.

I’m entirely in agreement with you as regards people wanting something for nothing but you shouldn’t confuse that with the agency tall tales of the time involved or try to compare the chargeable time of a lawyer to a copywriter.

Reply

David Bowman January 26, 2008 at 6:58 pm

We often find that potential clients don’t have a good understanding of the time, effort, and skills needed to write or edit. However, most clients, after seeing the work we do for them, realize that they have been charged a very fair price.

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