“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.”
Does anybody know that parlour game where you have to invent the real meaning of high-falutin’ words that people use. For example, ‘coup de grace’ is actually a French lawnmower and ‘magnum opus’ is a fat Irish cat.
Well, here’s a great list of neologisms new words from a recent BBC article. I saw it and it made me think of this new competition.
There’s a prize (in the form of a shiny new Articulate Moleskine-style notebook) for the reader who comes up with the funniest definition for any of these stupid invented words and phrases.
- Re-mode
- Gains to be got
- Pepper-potting
- Referral pathway
- Beaconicity
- Deplaning
- Neutralising debt
- Calling points
- Progressive consensus
- Worklessness
- Incentivising
And a second prize for anyone who suggests the most opaque neologism that’s not on the list. But you have to provide a source to prove it really exists in the wild.
To enter, tweet your word or definition to @mstibbe or leave a comment on this blog post. Small print: I’ll decide who wins and when. Hey, it’s my prize so it’s my rules!
Pepper-potting — transplanting people happier than you to cubicles farther away from you.
Deplaning — Slowly layering thin strips of wood up to create a flat surface on top of the piece of furniture.
Neutralising debt — Putting your Student Loan directly into a Swiss bank account instead of towards tuition.
Progressive consensus — Counting the number of people who at the same time think differently than they did at some time before.
Incentivising — the process of polishing a turd.
Awesome suggestions!
Pepper-potting – planting pepper in your pot plants to prevent neighbourhood tom cats from peeing in your pot plants.
Referral pathway – the neuro pathway in your brain that is triggered to help you refer blame to someone else.
Progressive census – is a mutli-level online census where you can only progress to the next level of questions when you’ve conquered the previous level by answering the questions correctly as specified by “Kath and Kim”
Neutralising debt – closing your eyes, putting your hands over your ears and shouting “I don’t believe in debt! I don’t believe in debt!”
Worklessness – that restless feeling that overcomes office dwellers shortly after the boss has left for Friday afternoon golf
Great suggestions, Gail.
Pepper-potting: leaving your adversaries behind by ascending beyond their field of vision.
Progressive Consensus – A phenomenon where a group of people trapped in a conference room eventually begin to agree upon everything in order to end the meeting.
Incentivizing – The process of providing advice or guidance in the proper selection of incense. A form of aromatherapy.