Email etiquette revisited
My proofreader, Sarah Bee, sent me a link to this debate about saying ‘thank you’ by email. (Sarah doesn’t check my blog, so the typos here are all my own fault.) The debate started with one person saying:
A new book on the way-valid topic of email etiquette has offered the following suggestion:
Do not send thank you emails.
They clog up folks’ in=box. One’s thanks for help rendered is assumed. No need to say so.
In fact, no thanking is the new polite thing to do.
My personal view is that just saying thanks as a way of acknowledging an email is pretty pointless. But expressing gratitude in the right context is a necessary part of courtesy. One person’s comment, that highly educated professionals often have the manners of skunks, isn’t invalid just because it is overstated.
This whole discussion reminded me of an article, Elements of E-Style, which I read in the New Yorker in April. It challenges some recieved wisdoms, for instance:
The authors, astonishingly, come out in favor of exclamation points (”Thanks!!!!” is way friendlier than “Thanks”), abbreviations (”Is LOL . . . really inherently more opaque than FYI?”), and emoticons (those smiley faces and the like may “bug many people but they make us smile”).
I’ve noticed that my own emails are getting shorter and I’m seeing more and more one-sentence paragraphs. My theory is that people won’t read long emails and skip long pararagraphs after the first sentence. It’s probably the same for blog posts.
One last question. Is it e-mail or email? I’ve seen both and I use the unhyphenated version, but I’d welcome discussion and feedback on this crucial point.
Well, thanks for reading this post. I really appreciate it!! 
Milly Shaw wrote:
LOLs, smileys, exaggerated punctuation…………. surely the rule is simply to know where you are on the informal - formal scale?
Yes, ‘thanks!!!!!’ is friendly, if it’s an email to a close friend after they looked over your CV. As a follow-up email to the interviewer, it’s wildly inappropriate and makes you look immature.
A book on email etiquette realy only needs one line: “It’s about the context, innit”
(also, as a final point, multiple exclamation marks should only be used by lolcats, IMHO. And they’re only excused because I’m impressed that they can hold down shift+1 with their little cat paws.)
Posted on 07-Jun-07 at 9:48 am | Permalink
John Whiteside wrote:
“Thank you” is appropriate if someone has made an effort on your behalf. I think the idea that they’re “clogging” up the works is just silly. It’s true that they clog up an inbox if the inbox owner doesn’t have good organizational skills, but that’s hardly a reason to drop courtesy.
Besides, sometimes things go awry. The email gets trapped in a spam filter, there’s a server problem and it never appears, etc. That one-word “thanks!” message is a nice way to say of acknowledging that something important went where it was supposed to, that you’re not waiting for anything else, and so on.
I did once hear someone complain about those messages because they made his Blackberry whir and buzz and when he went and checked it, it wasn’t really worth the effort. My sympathy was, shall we say, limited; if you’re going to make yourself a Blackberry slave, that’s the price you pay!
Posted on 07-Jun-07 at 12:41 pm | Permalink
jennifer rose wrote:
Your publisher may likely have its own style guide. Whether it’s e-mail or email is not particularly important as long as it’s consistent.
Adding a sentence “No reply is expected or required” can help put a stop to the obligatory one-word expression of gratitude.
See http://staringatstrangers.typepad.com/staring_at_strangers/2007/05/sending_the_wro.html
http://staringatstrangers.typepad.com/staring_at_strangers/2007/04/mind_your_manne.html
Posted on 07-Jun-07 at 1:38 pm | Permalink
Roy Jacobsen wrote:
I use the hyphenated form, because it was drilled into me by 13 years of having to adhere to the MSTP — Microsoft Stype for Technical Publications. I’m agnostic as to whether one is “better” than the other.
With “Thanks” e-mails, I agree that context is everything. Not every fulfilled request needs a thank you note, but they are often appropriate, but an e-mail note is no replacement for a hand-written Thank You note.
LOL and smileys… I’m in favor of restraint here. I wouldn’t outlaw them, but I don’t think they have more than a tiny little place–way back in the corner by the recycling bin, sharing a cubicle with the intern–in business correspondence.
Posted on 07-Jun-07 at 1:46 pm | Permalink
Heather Yaxley wrote:
I like the idea of “no response expected or required” and will adopt it immediately. Personally I would like to ban pingbacks with emails to acknowledge I have received and/or read a missive. For some reason, I find that really rude.
Thanking needs to be championed more and I advocate a return to using post for personalised thank you notes. We rarely receive anything in our daily mail to make us smile and someone taking the time to write a note and post it speaks volumes.
Posted on 07-Jun-07 at 4:56 pm | Permalink
Tom Chandler wrote:
I use “e-mail” too. But then, I still reflexively capitalize “Web.”
Naturally, the last “e-Commerce” project launch I wrote morphed into an “eCommerce” launch, and I suppose that all hyphens eventually go the way of the dodo bird.
I use smileys sparingly, but have to make a disparaging observation: why are the worst abusers of “LOL” never actually funny?
Posted on 07-Jun-07 at 5:33 pm | Permalink
Owen Booth wrote:
“LOL” is acceptable now? WTF?
And I have to go with “email” over “e-mail”: it’s less clunky and it looks better both in print and online (not “on-line”).
KTHNXBAI!
Posted on 07-Jun-07 at 8:47 pm | Permalink
Steve Markowski wrote:
It seems that grace and craft were left out of the email stylebook. Each generation has its own standards.
A thoughtful well-crafted egram is never clutter.
I’m very much in agreement with Heather that thank you notes in the mail are special and to be encouraged.
Love to all.
Posted on 08-Jun-07 at 6:33 pm | Permalink
Su wrote:
The ocassional thank you e-mail is no big deal. The people who acknowledge almost everything I do for them do start to just get in my way. I have a bunch of clients, and it’s nice when they’re not all coming at me at once, especially with unnecessary messages.
Thank me for getting the server straightened out after you were hacked. Creating a new page for you is simply my job; if I did it in five minutes because you forgot to tell me a week ago and you have a deadline of “now,” okay.
Overall, though: Thank me by paying the invoice on time. That sounds mercenary, but it’s frankly a lot rarer than it should be.
If it’s unavoidable, because some people clearly think it’s rude to say nothing regardless of inconveniencing the recipient, a, “Thanks for doing X and Y, etc.” message end of Friday seems like a good alternative.
Posted on 09-Jun-07 at 6:21 pm | Permalink
Kev wrote:
@Milly Shaw
I completely agree with you on it being about context and thought I’d leave a message supporting your point on multiple exclamation points.
more than three exclamation points in your message and often even one in your subject of the email will occasionally get you spam filtered.
leave it for the lolcats
Posted on 11-Jun-07 at 10:59 am | Permalink
Susan Gunelius wrote:
I use “email.” I think it’s sad that we’re in a time when people even question whether or not they should say thank you. If you would thank the other person if were speaking to them on the phone or in person, then you should send a thank you email. Why should basic rules of courtesy not apply to email communication? Maybe I’m just too thankful.
Posted on 12-Jun-07 at 4:26 am | Permalink
PA wrote:
I use lol and lots of exclaimation points all the time!!!
lol
:]]
Posted on 13-Jun-07 at 9:04 pm | Permalink
Danny Hope wrote:
Use ‘email’ because ‘e-mail’ is outdated.
Many words go through a hyphenated phase before being accepted into the language and so no longer need hyphens.
I apply the same thinking to homepage but for most people that’s probably a step too far.
By the way, a little bug: when I tab from the name field the focus becomes the ’subscribe’ button, rather that the ‘Email’ field as one would expect.
Posted on 14-Jun-07 at 1:19 pm | Permalink
Kelly wrote:
The Email Experience Council http://www.emailexperience.org is working on “officially” changing the spelling to be “email”
According to AP (CP here in Canada) it is still spelled with a hyphen, but it’s definitely being dropped quite a bit.
As for the thank you email - I appreciate it - not just for the nice gesture, but because email can be so unreliable, you never really know if someone receives it. I mean you can request read receipts but that clogs your email just as much and isn’t nearly as nice!
Posted on 15-Jun-07 at 1:12 am | Permalink
Tetsou wrote:
I noticed that those of us of the ‘MTV’ generation tend to say ‘thks’ or something similar, while those of the ‘I Love Lucy’ generation to towards ‘Thank You’.
Cheers!
Tetsou
http://www.tetsou.co.uk
Posted on 19-Jun-07 at 10:43 pm | Permalink
Tania wrote:
Related: I’m bothered when “Thank you” or “Thanks” is abbreviated — I am very often shown appreciation with an email or IM that reads only :ty” or “Txs.” But really, how grateful are you really when you can’t bother to type out another few letters?
Posted on 21-Jun-07 at 4:49 pm | Permalink
Pendekkan. Ringkas — Ayo Menulis! wrote:
[...] sedikit pembaca yang tahan dengan paragraf panjang. Ini pendapat saya. Matthew Stibbe menulis bahwa email yang panjang tidak akan dibaca dan paragraf-paragraf panjang juga dilewat setelah [...]
Posted on 28-Jun-07 at 6:36 am | Permalink
RBL wrote:
I prefer e-mail, e-commerce, etc.
As far as thank yous go, savvy users put it in the subject line, followed by an , meaning “end of message”. That way people can read it and delete it without opening it.
Posted on 30-Jun-07 at 1:00 am | Permalink
Email Dashboard wrote:
Email etiquette: Thanks…
I grew up being taught to say please and thank you as just a matter of simple courtesy for actions large and small. But more and more, I find this to be at odds w/ polite and efficient email practices….
Posted on 27-Mar-08 at 12:32 am | Permalink