When copywriting is NOT the answer

Die with Yes, No and Maybe on it Small businesses sometimes struggle with marketing.  They know they want the cure - more sales usually - but they don’t want to take the medicine. In my experience marketing embraces a range of disciplines and activities: branding, PR, advertising, websites, product literature, case studies etc. etc.

Copywriting touches all of these points but, on its own, it isn’t sufficient. I have worked with a couple of smaller companies who have had this problem. I’m good at what I do and I can help most businesses a lot. I’m good at prioritising and categorising product features and translating them into customer benefits.  I’m good a project management and understanding website development and magazine production. I’m really good at website copy, brochures and other long copy. But I can’t solve all their problems on my own.

I have a good track record, good clients, do good work and, yes, talk a good talk.  Small businesses sometimes see me as a kind of magic bullet.  What tends to happen next is that the projects start off with great enthusiasm but turn to disappointment when their expectations (usually unspoken) aren’t met.  Then they turn to the next magic bullet solution.  It’s expensive for them and frustrating for me.

The reality is that my work is best when it complements the work of other experts. Typically for my lovely, large clients like Microsoft, HP and eBay, I work with an ‘ecosystem’ of agencies and staff to deliver large projects.  My work infuses everyone else’s and their work builds on what I do.

I’ve had a few small business clients where everything went brilliantly (RiskCare’s website was one or case studies for a couple of small tech companies) but in those cases the brief is very specific.

The warning signs that a project is going to be a problem are:

  • The absence of any coherent marketing plan or strategy, just “we need to sort out marketing.”
  • Vague, non-specific briefs. Even if I draft a brief for them, there is sometimes an expectation that I’ll do “more” somehow.
  • “Can we just book a day of your time?” as if that’s going to solve all their problems.
  • Being asked to attend lots of meetings that don’t actually produce decisions or confirm briefs but just help them think through their troubles.
  • When I’m asked to comment on or contribute to areas that aren’t really my primary expertise.
  • Very long, rambling introductions to the company or its products. “The company was started in …” followed by a life story, as if the company’s history IS the company.  “ProductXYZ has…” followed by a two-hour super-technical presentation, as if the product IS the company.
  • They want me to be a kind of surrogate marketing director.
  • Time goes by, work is done but nothing changes.
  • Vagueness about budgets, the process of purchasing (e.g. no purchase orders) or the business side of the engagement.
  • Lots of free pitching from me and other agencies.
  • I get a nagging feeling that I’m not really “deploying my full force along lines of excellence.” 

I guess this post is a long way of thinking through some of the factors that might cause me to suggest that a prospective client look for a different advisor or where I might want to do some education and pre-qualification before I work with a company. I know a few copywriters read this blog and I’m interested if this tallies with their experience.

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Top ten conspiracy theories

I like this piece in Wired, The Best Conspiracy Theories (Lizard-People Are Running the World!)

Once I was arguing with some people at a focus group discussing science programming on the BBC. I think I was the only person there who actually watched science programming on the BBC because they were holding forth about the accuracy and relevance of astrology.  I said it was bunk.  One woman rounded on me and said “what do you know about the wisdom of the ancients.” What can you say to that?

If anyone has any suggestions about how people come to believe conspiracy theories, I’d be very interested to hear them.

Anyhow, here are the top ten from Wired:

  1. NASA faked the moon landings
  2. The government was behind 9/11
  3. Princess Diana was murdered
  4. The Jews run Hollywood and Wall Street
  5. The Scientologists run Hollywood
  6. Paul McCartney is dead
  7. AIDS is a man-made disease
  8. Church’s fried chicken sterilizes black men
  9. Lizard-people run the world
  10. The illuminati run the world

I’m surprised not to see anything JFK related.

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Roger wilco over and out

image I have worked on a couple of projects where my clients and I shared detailed conversations about the work and I wrote a detailed brief but when I delivered the final case study / white paper /whatever, it was not what they expected.

Why does this happen?

I think it is because the same word can mean different things to different people. A white paper or a case study has a very specific meaning for me and it’s easy for me to assume it means the same for everyone.  It is always worth checking.

These days I try to show people something similar that I have done or ask them for an example of what they want.

It’s different in the world of flying. Despite what you see in the movie Airplane and all the cliches about ‘over and out’, as a rule communication between plane and tower is very tightly controlled. It has a specific vocabulary.

Here are a few examples from the CAA’s CAP 413 Radiotelephony Manual:

  • ACKNOWLEDGE Let me know that you have received and understood this
    message.
  • AFFIRM Yes. [NOT Affirmative which could be confused with Negative on a bad link]
  • APPROVED** Permission for proposed action granted.
  • CHECK Examine a system or procedure. (Not to be used in any other
    context. No answer is normally expected.)
  • CLEARED ? Authorised to proceed under the conditions specified.
  • CONFIRM I request verification of: (clearance, instruction, action,
    information).
  • CORRECTION An error has been made in this transmission (or message
    indicated). The correct version is …
  • DISREGARD Ignore.
  • NEGATIVE No; or Permission not granted; or That is not correct; or Not
    capable.
  • OUT* This exchange of transmissions is ended and no response is
    expected. [Not normally used in U/VHF Communications]
  • OVER* My transmission is ended and I expect a response from you. [Not normally used in U/VHF Communications]
  • REPORT Pass requested information.
  • REQUEST I should like to know … or I wish to obtain …
  • ROGER I have received all your last transmission.
    Note: Under no circumstances to be used in reply to a question
    requiring a direct answer in the affirmative (AFFIRM) or
    negative (NEGATIVE).
  • STANDBY Wait and I will call you.
    Note: No onward clearance to be assumed. The caller would
    normally re-establish contact if the delay is lengthy. STANDBY
    is not an approval or denial.
  • UNABLE I cannot comply with your request, instruction or clearance.
    Unable is normally followed by a reason.
  • WILCO I understand your message and will comply with it
    (abbreviation for will comply)

It may not be obvious from this list that the old cliche “Over and out” is just wrong.  It’s either “over” or “out”.  Similarly, “Roger Wilco” is silly.  Roger means “I heard and understood you” (but might not do what you say) whereas “wilco” means “I heard and understood you and will do what you request.”

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Inside the world’s top R&D labs

image I love visiting labs. When I was a kid, I was taken on a tour of IBM Labs Hursley and I think that was what got me into computers.  Later, when I was 11, I visited Prestel in London.

A few years ago, I wrote an article for CBI Business Voice about R&D labs and I visited MIT Media Lab, BT AdAstral, Microsoft Research Cambridge and others.  I really enjoyed that too (and incidentally, met someone from Microsoft who gave me my first corporate gig).  I also did articles for Director on Google and Ideo.

Just recently, I’ve been doing a lot of work for HP and I visited their labs in Bristol a couple of times and this month I was in Houston visiting their HQ there.  Cool!  I love my job!

Anyhow, here are some of the articles:

Inside HP Labs

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Long time, no speak

Sorry for the long silence.  Normal service will resume soon.

I was in Houston for a week on business and then in Florida for two weeks getting my commercial pilot’s licence. (I passed.  Yay me!)

Don’t worry. This isn’t a new career move. I’m still a writer.  I just wanted to aim higher and become a better pilot.

Life on Sundays and an Ideal Husband

My wife’s theatre company is producing a monthly show at the Tabard Theatre in Chiswick featuring music and short scenes around a theme. They’re great shows and very relaxed. If you’re in the area, come along. The next shows are on Oct 21 and Nov 18. More dates and details on C Company’s website.

Also, their production of Oscar Wilde’s An Ideal Husband opens tomorrow at the Bridewell Theatre in Fleet Street. It’s a lunchtime play so you can bring sandwiches and watch a 45m version of the play. Their last show, The Importance of Being Earnest, sold out most days so it’s worth getting in early. Lots of fun and better than sitting at your desk all day. Again more details on C Company’s website.

Is the internet bad for writers?

Interesting article where an editor asks ten writers whether the internet has been good for writing or not.  (Hat tip: Slashdot.)

Greetings from Florida where I am studying for my commercial pilots licence.  (See my other site: ModernPilot.com for more about my Compulsive Flying Disorder.)

Happy people, productive people

I’ve spent the last month or so working on copy for an HP website, known internally as ‘Happy People’. It’s all about the ways in which technology can make employees happier and more productive. The first element is ‘give me back my time‘ which recently went live. This has three sections:

Overall, there are about 14,000 words on the site, some of which is product-focused, but much of it is classic Bad Language style tips and tactics. Enjoy!